10. There are no more than 6 Iron Chefs on the podium (the 3 original Iron Chefs (Morimoto, Cora, and Batali) and their body doubles for long shots)
9. The 'nimble' Chairman demonstrates his 'nimbleosity' by backflipping in the opener (I guess back flips did not lend to his culinary credibility. Maybe if he cracked upon each landing evenly distributed coconuts along his route.) <- He might still be doing this...have to look for that...but they have added 'head swooshes'
8. ICA's fake Chairman is actually given a few sentences to say in the introduction - a nod to the lengthly monologue given by Iron Chef Japan's fake chairman. (With the added drama of 'head swooshes'...I don't miss it.)
7. He 'chooses' the Iron Chef who will battle the challenger (like the challenger has ever has chosen who to battle. Who would ever challenge Morimoto or Batali? Even Appleman 'chose' Symon)
6. There is a bio blurb given about the Iron Chefs (to make them appear like us...like they didn't compose their first 5 dishes using Mother's Milk as the Secret ingredient with a pantry of Gerber's...come on.)
5. Kevin Brouch says 'Alton' before any updates from the stadium floor (a nod to ICJ's floor commentator saying 'Cuisan' (or whatever) before any utterance)
4. Kevin Brouch interviews the Iron Chef and the Challengers right after the bout (usually getting showered with garlic/balsamic vinegar/truffle infused sweat from both competitors)
3. No 'Favorite Canadian' 'Tells the Rules Like No One Else' 'Liking the way his eyes sparkle' Homo-Worship-Stalker comments from Alton Brown towards Kevin Brouch (With Brian Boitano joining the Food Network cadre, representing the Gay Foodies can be lifted from Alton's shoulders. He may not be gay, but he did a commendable job.)
2. Alton whining that he won't be able to eat any of the culinary creations (we can't either Alton! so please stop torturing us. At least you can smell Bobby's grilling of planks of freshly cut slab bacon)
1. Alton is half the man he used to be (he lost the weight purportedly by controlling how many times per week he could eat certain foods.Based on #2, I think it really was that once one has even absorbed the ultra-high caliber molecules infusing the air in Kitchen Stadium, they are sustained for life, and any calories obtained outside Kitchen Stadium just 'bounce off'. Too bad so few can take advantage of the Kitchen Stadium Diet.)
AND
0. Jeffrey Steingarten no longer serves as judge when Morimoto is competing as his fawning and obsequiousness will cause his membership to be revoked by the Curmudgeon League
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